sarcastic and caustic look at online dating and the life of single-doom.

P.M.P.

P.M.P.

Trying something new

I have just graduated from Penn State with a degree in Music Recording and Production. After graduating, my best friend and I went on a road trip from NYC to San Fran and everywhere in between (you can see a few of those pics in my photos) Right now, I know what I want to do in life and am working hard to get where I want to be.
Music is my passion, I play guitar (and really well I might add) along with a variety of other instruments, and I love going to concerts. I also enjoy all aspects of the arts including theater, film, and literature and am looking for someone who enjoys these things as well.
I would like to meet someone who is intelligent who can carry on an intellectual conversation but also knows how to let her hair down and have fun. I, like most people I’m sure, love to laugh (especially at myself), love to make people laugh, and love people who can make me laugh!
I’ve got a decent sense of style; I know how to communicate who I am in how I dress, whether it’s casual or formal. I took Ballroom Dance classes, so don’t worry, you won’t have to try too hard to get me on the dance floor and I will look good up there.
Finally, I have a great relationship with my mother, so you can rest assured I’m someone you can “take home to mom!” The question is, can you promise the same?

So this P.M.P. has been calling me. About him. Pros: He is surprisingly easy to talk to on the phone. The first time was a little awkward, but otherwise has been smooth and the time passes without realizing how long we have been talking. On the con side of the list, he’s fresh out of college, 23 years old. Hmmmm. Listed agnostic under religious beliefs. Oh and he doesn’t agree with me that ninjas are better than pirates because of their versatility, also on the con side for SHIZZLE.

Funny story he told me. He’s a guitarist so I asked how he got into that. He told me that when he was around 13 he was in the attic reading his dad’s playboy magazines and his mom came home. She hollared up the stairs, asking what he was doing and he had to think up a reason fast because obviously he couldn’t use the real reason and the only one he could think of was that he was looking for an old guitar of his dad’s. Thus playboy was the catalyst of his musical career.

He has requested an evening with the Queen (does that sound sketchy?) which should go down (sketchy again! didn’t mean it like that I SWEAR! none of that will be HAPPENING!) sometime in two weeks. I’m not sure I’m ready to meet him and perhaps may prolong it until I can talk to him about more important things than say ninjas.

Drama Drama Drama

So I haven’t been here as much the last two weeks. As you may have guessed from the title, there was some drama. Boy drama. The drama of the worst kind. Apparently a particular gentlemen who will remain nameless (but you all know who he is anyway) was sucked in by my incredible hottness and drawn off the path. If I had been made aware of his particular situation (ie. Hi, Queen I have a girlfriend so while I may act like you are the dizz to my fo-shiz, I can’t go there.), there would have been no such drama.

But no. I was not made aware. Actually one could say that I was lied to about this particular fact because when you take one girl out you should probably tell her that you have a girlfriend, especially when she asks you directly, (the reasons that one might come up with about WHY he might be less than honest on this issue will be left for another rant) and was left only with the overwhelming evidence to the contrary thus making what I thought were some safe assumptions.

Grr. No matter that my little heart was let down. No matter that I was made to look like a fool. But then the offending PMP decided to BLAME ME for what came of the evening. I mean, we all know about the power of my “incredible hottness” but seriously? Can I be blamed for that? Can I be blamed that you were less than honest and apparently have no willpower?

No I think not.

But moving on. The Queen is tired. Tired of the drama and going out on these dates with boring boring people. I think that I am taking a break from the O.D. circuit. Maybe a week, maybe a month. I don’t know. There are a few gentlemen who have requested the presence of the Queen and I will blog about those. But otherwise….well we’ll see how it goes.

great first line

I would like to find someone to steal horses with.

no calvinists allowed

Headliner: Looking for that special person who is honest, caring, and has free will.

too many romantic comedies

Incredible sense of humor and I don’t smell. Also, creditable in bed.

I don’t know what I’m looking for. Exactly, anyway. I suppose there’s some slim chance that we’ll meet in the bar at the Algonquin and have a martini and we’ll order Martinis and talk about how much we like “The Alchemist” and Francois Truffaut and you’ll request “Moonlight Serenade” from the piano player and we’ll dance a waltz in the lobby until I knock over a coffee table and the manager tells us we have to leave so we head out into a sultry August night and stroll effortlessly to the dive bar around the corner where we could split a pitcher of light beer and a basket of fries and pass the night regaling each other with tales of our high school sexual escapades.

But then the second date would probably be an enormous let down.

So maybe we could just take a walk and get a cup of coffee and try not to bore each other.

And longest run-sentence ever. I’m sure I could say something about how he claims to be a master of the bedroom for I’ll leave that alone.

P.M.P Rule #47

NO SPEEDOS!

funny photo

I knew he was lying

Update on the Good Doctor, excerpt from an email….

Hey Queen, yes I still plan to move to the deep jungle if things don’t work out with us. No pressure. I must confess I’m not really a pilot though- I just said that to sound like a bigshot.

and also referenced here…

a straight ballin’, rockstarin’, smokin’ hot 2/3 white-1/3 black man who also speaks l33t.

Im gonna be filthy rich rockstar!- for real dont miss out dont be a L05er. Your ex will hate me!
I often am compared to Denzel Washington Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt.The latter i get ALL the time!

This P.M.P. has no photo to prove or disprove his claims. I spent a good 5 minutes of my time wondering what someone who resembles Brad, Tom Cruise AND Denzel may look like. and then to add the L33T factor in, I’m just lost. For real.

on my checklist too!

You are a laid back, outgoing, goofy/classy, sure of yourself, music loving lady who is not opposed to a private guitar concert every once in a while. You can enjoy a rock star night out in the city or a candle light dinner, just as much as a quiet evening at my place ordering food and watching bad, really bad 80’s movies. And you really, really want to slap Paris Hilton in the face as hard as you can.

HAHAHAH!